A Mistake Anyone Could Make
When you adopt a new pet, especially a puppy, life as you know it stops, and strange things begin to happen. The strangeness can range from a benign incident up to an extremely stressful situation. My new life is just filled with the most interesting kinds of strangeness and oddities. The first day we brought LeeLoo Bear home it all started, we knew everything had to change for the time being, but it still throws you off your game.
One of the greatest adjustments of those first few days was getting used to a tiny little body in bed between me and Momma Bear. You have this 7 pound body that is now sleeping on your bed and you now have to float between a full sleep and awareness. I didn’t want to be the first one to roll over and hurt the new pup. We decide to have LeeLoo Bear sleep with us to get some peace and silence; there is nothing worse than a scared, lonely 6 week old puppy crying all night in a restricted area somewhere down stairs. It’s also easier to manage potty-breaks and easier to house train if they don’t have accidents in the house for any reason. Of all the animals we’ve adopted LeeLoo Bear had to be different, she didn’t and still doesn’t just lay there and sleep like the other puppies did, no, she moves all around flopping her little body down as hard as she can. Up and down, maybe unable to get comfortable. The first few nights she moved dozens of times in just a few hours, and in between she had one or two potty-breaks. Being aware of her movements, sleep was something far and in between for us, because we didn’t know if her moving meant she needed to go potty or just trying to get comfortable?
The first few nights, I got up with LeeLoo Bear and took her down stairs and out the back door to our patio area. I moved as fast as this broken body would allow me to go and down we went. LeeLoo Bear squatted and went as fast as she could, the night scared her and she was in a new place. I don’t remember much of the wake-ups, other than Momma Bear thrusting the puppy into my arms saying “Move fast or she’ll pee,” or “It’s your turn.” See, I’m a deep sleeper, so deep that I slept like a baby during combat in the early 90’s.
After a few times of this I started to need sleep, Momma Bear and I would catnap all through the day. At first, LeeLoo Bear was only getting a few hours at a time before she had to potty. Once she went and felt that fresh night air, she was up and ready to play for a few more hours, so we were up too. On my shifts, I didn’t want to go back to bed and wake Momma Bear, so I stayed downstairs until LeeLoo Bear ran out of steam. After a week of that I don’t even remember being woken, I was on autopilot and then the strangeness started.
LeeLoo Bear woke around 3:30 am. I took her down and out, the grass was wet and the night had a chill, LeeLoo squatted and went, took a few steps and squatted again. No that’s not the strangeness, LeeLoo Bear knew that she felt pressure in her body, but thought at first, that she had to pee more. So LeeLoo would squat a lot, only to take a few more steps and finally take a puppy poop. She still does it, squats as if she needs to pee but poops instead. Anyway, my first peculiarity was that I was back inside and half way up the stairs before I realized I had left LeeLoo bear outside. No big deal, LeeLoo bear didn’t seem to mind and Momma Bear didn’t know so it was all straightened out, no harm no foul!
This happened a few times, me not even realizing I was up until I opened that door and the cold air hit me. One night though, sleep deprivation created a really awkward turn of events. LeeLoo had awoken us by biting us on the face and ears, she does that a lot. Momma Bear pushed her towards me and I pushed her back, I thought that was the end of it after I covered my face to protect myself from fang. Not true, it seems that Momma Bear had won the sleeping argument and I somehow took LeeLoo out for her potty-break. So my body went into auto pilot again, out of my bedroom door carrying LeeLoo, down the steps, through the house and out the back door. LeeLoo squatted and I stood there watching. Something seemed a little off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I was still outside, so I hadn’t forgotten LeeLoo outside. I could see her so I hadn’t forgotten her upstairs. Still something was different? The air was extra-crisp that night and I seemed to be less restricted. With the cool air waking me more, my mind was becoming clearer and then outside spotlight came on. Let me explain, I am a naked sleeper. My robe hangs at the bottom of the bed for ease of access. Ah-ha that’s what was different! Through my haze I realized I only had my sandals on and nothing else! Well due to my sleepiness there I was buck naked. I walked right out of the house with nothing on but sandals and my nose ring. Shit! What to do, what to do? LeeLoo was in the middle of her third squat, and if I stop her now…Screw it, it’s early in the a.m. and my yard is ¾ blocked by trees and foliage and honestly, I’m not that shy anyway. So I allowed LeeLoo Bear to finish her duty (Duty, I said duty…LOL) and after she was done, maybe 2 minutes, I took her back inside and went back to bed. I’m not embarrassed, it’s a mistake any sleep deprived man who sleeps naked would make.
Yeah strange things are happening around here and I’m not sure, but that may not be the last time I walk outside nude when taking LeeLoo Bear out for her false squats.
