The Inmates Are Running the Asylum
You may have noticed that I haven't posted anything the last two days. Well my madhouse has got a little madder and I've just managed to find a moment or two when all the patients are safely occupied, so here I am
See a few weeks ago, my mom (aka crazy cat lady) called to tell me her neighbor dropped a two-three week old kitten off with her. So cue bottle feeding and kitten formula and a really busy schedule. She happened to mention she didn't know how she was going to manage her trip to visit my Uncle in Atlantic City. Well me being the wonderful, animal loving, not puppy having, forgets what it's like to raise a puppy, daughter that I am; offered to kitten sit when the time came. After all what's one more in the nut house, plus Mom had puppy sat for Sugar when we went on a cruise.
Fast forward to this past Monday..Mom calls and asks if I have light corn syrup. Umm, I have no idea but why (my mom lives over an hour away so it wasn't like she was calling to borrow some)? She then proceeds to say the kittens milk gets corn syrup mixed in.. umm okay still not making a whole lot of sense. After a lot of confusion, turns out Mom's vacation is tomorrow which means kitten is coming. Mom just happened to forget to tell me the dates of
her vacation, btw it's June 6,7, 8. To be honest I could have used a littel time to both mentally prepare myself and physically prepare my house for adding a 6 week old kitten, but I can do
this. I mean I've got close to 12 hours to prepare. So being the grown up responsible face your problems head on type of person I am; I got off the phone finished dinner, informed Chuckie, and then did absolutely nothing. I channeled my best Scarlett O'hara, "After all, tomorrow is another day."
Now the animals had already met the kitten about two weeks prior. Sugar was absolutely in love and convinced the kitten was hers. She wouldn't stop following her around and licking her (See pictures below.) LeeLoo, thought we found the most entertaining dog toy ever and was determined to chew her. Abby in complete agreement with her personality; hissed, swatted her, and then proceeded to ignore her. Cutter and Loki were the only two that were completely indifferent. Since I had an idea of how the patients were going to react, I knew the kitten would need to be placed in solitary confinement for her own safety. I had a few options. I could put her in Chuckie's art room but the problem with that is what if she decided to shred some paintings. I could put her in my bedroom, but what do we do at bedtime when LeeLoo and Sugar go to bed with us. Or I could put her in the dining room, that's normally my cat's day room their food and cat tree are in there, but I could move the food for a few days and they'd just have to use one of the other cat trees. So dining room it was.
Well if you know anything about asylums they run best with order and routine and I screwed that up. LeeLoo, who is doing wonderfully with housebreaking uses the dining room as her route to the back door. Cutter and Abby are convinced that their food must be poisoned because it's no longer in the dining room in addition to being unable to enjoy any of the other seven rooms in the house since they can't lay in the dining room. This also means that Abby in protest is making sure to torment LeeLoo twice as much. She doesn't head for the back of the couch out of LeeLoo's reach no, she's taken to laying on the second step and just glaring. LeeLoo is quite sure this is an invitation to a game and obviously Abby's hisses, growls, and slashing claws are all part of this game. Sugar is working hard to learn how to open doors because she must get to her sweet baby kitten.
This morning we had one day down and I was feeling pretty satisfied that as matron of this insane asylum I was managing the addition of a new inmate and all the accompanying disruptions with grace. Hah! Sugar had left her post by the dining room door and was asleep on the couch with LeeLoo. Abby was in the game room grumbling to Justice. It was time for some kitten play time. I went in and refilled the kittens bowls and played for a few minutes when I heard the chaos begin. Like most calamities, it started off slow. LeeLoo was scratching at the door whining (I guess she heard me talking to Lily) no big deal. Then I heard Chuckie yell "Incoming!" Sugar had succeeded in her quest to open doors. Here comes Sugar and LeeLoo, to which Lily responded by running. I had to keep a clear head, should I restrain the most dangerous patient or protect the weakest. I made a snap decision, the most dangerous and headed for LeeLoo. Let me tell you if she decides to go out for football she'll make an amazing running back, that girl can bob and weave and avoid tackle like nobodies business. I heard Chuckie coming so I figured I would just sort of herd her towards him and hopefully he could sneak up on her. Whew, it worked, he had her in his arms and as an orderly in the asylum, he's quite adept at restraining unruly inmates. So now I had to get Sugar who was valiantly trying to comfort the baby, who really wasn't being comforted by the 160 lb. giant who was towering over her. Sugar's one of the longest residents so she didn't resist too badly. I drug her from the room, Chuckie took LeeLoo, I just needed to shut down
the ward. Abby managed to slip through, right before it was contained. She ran straight for the kitten's food, Lily was glad to see someone like her and ran to greet her. Now I think I've mentioned on her best day, Abby is grumpy today she was just pissed. She immediately hissed and swatted at the kitchen, I managed to lunge forward fast enough to push her away from the kitten so her claw hit only air. She ran, I chased and so did Lily. Lily had the advantage she can run under the table and got there before I did. Now Abby wasn't growling she was screaming, if you've never heard a cat in attack mode, the scream is fearsome. She was out for blood. In my desperation I did what any logical person would do, I blamed Chuckie and yelled out "Thanks a lot, Chuck!" I grabbed Abby before any damage was done, it took her a second to realize it was me but luckily she reigned in her attack before inflicting any damage on me, however she wanted back at that kitten in the worst way. Chuckie, finally responding to my yell came in, followed closely by LeeLoo and Sugar's nose was coming through the door too. LeeLoo couldn't manage to get any traction on the laminate flooring so Chuckie was able to grab her before she could make a beeline for the kitten.
We got all the animals out. Everyone went to their separate corners. I sat down on the stairs, put my head in my hands, shook my head, looked Chuckie dead in the eye and said "we live in a freaking zoo!" Did I get sympathy or empathy, nope he laughed and said "this was your bright idea." It's only 10 a.m.!!!!
